My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
