I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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