I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
