friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
