Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
