WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
