How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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