I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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