The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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