just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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