I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
