just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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