No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
