PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
