you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
