I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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