so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
