I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The chlamydia really affected his face.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
