im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
