"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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