yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
