Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
