READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
