If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just puked most of my soul out..
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