that's an acceptable place to lick
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
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