It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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