Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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