I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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