I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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