two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
