I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
