OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
