whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
