Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
