the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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