i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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