meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
