I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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