remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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