it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
