I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
