I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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