why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
