A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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