I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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