Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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