How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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