I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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