I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
