I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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